How To Get Her Back A Girl’s Honest Perspective}
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Submitted by: Anthony Malibu
Winning back an ex girlfriend is entirely possible, but it’s a job made much easier if you look at things from her own perspective. Seeing things through your her eyes – instead of just your own – is essential to getting back together with your ex. The following guide will show you what she’s thinking and feeling just after she breaks up with you.
One of the first mistakes guys make after being dumped by a girlfriend is to look at the situation narrowmindedly. No one does this on purpose, but the thoughts, feelings, and actions you take just after losing your girlfriend are almost purely self-serving. You’re doing what YOU want to do, not what your ex wants. Moreover, you’re thinking that everything you’re about to do will get your ex to come back to you, when it reality it’s only going to push her further away.
Understanding the female psyche right after a break up is crucial to seeing things clearly. The flowers you send, the cards you buy, and the long letters professing love for your ex… these are all unwanted gestures right from the start. Why? Doesn’t any girlfriend desire these things? Yes, but not right now. Right after ending your relationship, your ex will want to avoid you. She’s feeling strange and awkward about everything, and being around you will make it worse. And the more you push? The more awkward it gets. And some guys push until the girl runs screaming in the other direction… and funniest of all, can’t figure out why.
When your girlfriend ends your relationship, it’s not always final. People get back together each day. It could be that she’s frustrated or upset at something you specifically did, or it could be the culmination of a lot of different problems. Most likely, they’ve been around for a while… so you’re not going to fix them overnight. The longer you give your ex to think about them, and the more space you give her in which to consider it, the better off you’ll be in terms of winning her back.
It’s a fact: guys like to fix things. Quickly, if possible. But in your ex-girlfriend’s eyes, your relationship isn’t a quick or easy fix. She wants you to realize what’s wrong before you come back to her (or she comes back to you). Trying to resolve your issues is admirable, but it’s also too little too late. These problems would’ve been better addressed while you were dating, and she’s taken the drastic measure of breaking up with you to get you to realize them. Your ex isn’t looking for you to put a patch over the holes in your relationship, and in some cases she might actually be looking to punish you for a specific time period for what she perceives as wrong.
Obviously you can’t look at things from within your girlfriend’s mind, and she’s not going to tell you everything that she’s feeling. This is where you need to stop and clear your own head by taking some time away. Dropping out of sight after your ex dumps you is one of the biggest steps you can take toward getting her back. If you’re strong enough to shut off your phone and flip off your computer, you’ll immediately earn her respect and curiosity. After she cools off she’ll begin to look around for you. Not seeing or hearing from you will make her wonder where you went. This process is necessary to getting your ex miss you, which is instrumental in your ultimate goal: making her want you back.
Any girl who breaks up with a guy thinks the same thing: did he really love me? Seeing a guy chase after you is a good indication that you’re something to be desired. It’s an ego boost for your ex girlfriend, and it’ll also allow her to extend the break up for as long as she thinks you’re hanging around. So now imagine the opposite scenario: a girl breaking up with a guy who just disappears. Such a girl wouldn’t know whether or not she was missed, because she has no clue what her ex is doing. Instead of knowing she was needed, she wonders if maybe she wasn’t needed at all. In fact, maybe she needed her boyfriend more than he ever needed her. This is what gets a girl to question – and possibly even reverse – her decision break up.
By doing the polar opposite of what she expects, you’re keeping your ex interested in you. By remaining strong instead of weak, independent instead of desperate, you’re giving off positive, confident vibes. These are a hell of a lot more attractive to your girlfriend than anything else you could do that might include begging, pleading, and trying to worm your way back into her heart. If your ex doesn’t respect you, she won’t date you again. You’ll fall into the category of “just a friend” or she’ll detach herself from you completely and start dating someone else.
Getting back together with your ex girlfriend demands that you be proactive with everything you do. The faster you begin on these things, the more you’ll increase the chance for a successful reunion. From there, you’ll be able to rebuild a new relationship on a strong new foundation. And since your ex is the one who wants you back, everything will seem like her own idea. This is huge when it comes to the staying power of your new romance. Anything built together will be stronger than if you built it yourself.
About the Author: There are 8 individual steps necessary to
Get Back Your Ex
. And to read the complete, detailed guide to fixing your breakup, be sure to check out
How To Get Back An Ex Girlfriend